Hello everyone! I have left my new favorite country of Canada, and am writing this from the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport. Traveling has been great so far, I actually slept on the flight from Vancouver to Minneapolis (which I usually have trouble doing, so praise God!). It was sad to leave Sarah and Canada, but I’m excited for what’s next on this journey…
I really want to open up with everyone on this blog entry. I know that a lot of my entries lately have been pretty basic and not very “spiritual,” but I want to assure you that this last trip turned out to be more of a vacation for my soul than for my body. Sure, I stayed in a nice, hotel-like dorm building, ate amazing food everyday, and played outside in ideal 72 degree weather all day…but the part of me that benefited most from my time in Vancouver was my soul.
Life has been hectic, hard, and slightly soul-killing lately, so it was great to get out of Springfield, get away from the humdrum of everyday life and duties, and remember what I have been created to do. I am learning how to step away from the world and retreat to that sacred place of communion with the Lord--no matter what tries to keep my attention instead. While in college the Lord was constantly teaching me how to manage my relationship with Him despite so many demands on my time; after school I learned how to avoid complacency in both life and spirit. As I transitioned into working full-time I had to ask Him how to balance a sometimes slow/sometimes break-neck work environment with a relevant life lived before Him and my co-workers; and now, still employed but also preparing for moving to Thailand and fundraising full-time, He is quietly and faithfully showing me how to come away to the quiet, still waters (Psalm 23, gotta love it!) and spend time with Him. The past week in Vancouver was key to figuring out this piece of my life-puzzle.
Not only did He speak to my heart so gently about balancing my life with Him and the demands that surround me constantly, but He reminded me that this calling on my life is HIS calling. Let me explain: for the past couple of months I have struggled with feeling inadequate in my calling and unable to itinerate, learn the Thai language, minister effectively, etc. I know that the onslaught has been the work of the enemy, but it has also caused me to be even MORE dependent upon the Lord. I suffer from a weird desire to be very independent in every aspect of my life…and the Lord is slowly breaking me of that quirk. It’s both a healthy and unhealthy aspect of my personality, and He’s helping me work through the unhealthy part of it. In Vancouver I was reminded again and again and AGAIN that He desires me to be dependent upon Him. God enjoys it when we rest in Him, look to Him for guidance, and rely upon Him for the big and the small things in life. I am learning again how to do this very thing.
So I now find myself in Iowa (it's actually Sunday, July 20th as I finish this post), beginning my itineration process. I have a more quieted soul within me now, as I hold on to the exaltation that David makes in Psalm 131:2, “But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” In all actuality, it is the LORD that has quieted my soul within me…and I am unbelievably grateful for that fact.
Resting in Him,
Heather
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